


letting go

by akutagi



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Kissing in the Rain, M/M, Sad Yamaguchi Tadashi, Secret Relationship, Self-Doubt, Self-Esteem Issues, Tsukishima Kei is Bad at Feelings, Unreliable Narrator, spoilers but i wanna add that tag so :p
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-21
Updated: 2020-04-21
Packaged: 2021-03-01 22:48:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,138
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23764873
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/akutagi/pseuds/akutagi
Summary: “Hey, Tsukki?”“Yes?”“Could we, um” he started, swinging his feet lightly on the edge of the bed. “Could we keep this between us for the time being? Since…”Since my anxiety from telling you this is making me rethink everything and I really don’t know if I can handle the world knowing right now.“Sure, Yama. Might be nice to have this to ourselves for right now. The dumbass duo would be ten times more annoying knowing anyways.” Yamaguchi knew he was trying to lighten the mood by saying that last part, but it did work at making his nerves deflate a little bit.---Yamaguchi and Tsukishima both get their feelings off their chest, putting all their cards on the table. They both agree to take things slow and hide their relationship for the time being. But what happens when one starts to have doubts that this could ever truly last? Well, words are said and actions are made. The real question is, can they ever go back to before, and would they even want to if they could?
Relationships: Tsukishima Kei/Yamaguchi Tadashi
Comments: 6
Kudos: 159





	letting go

**Author's Note:**

> the lil blurb is SO EDGY IM SORRY SDKJAKSLKSD but yes ! after almost a month of not posting (what the hell amiright) i am back with my two favs/ pair tsukiyama ! 
> 
> i hope you like this fic and its hurts you as much as it did me when writing it :') (seriously i teared up twice call me a crybaby all you want) 
> 
> but as the title suggests, this fic is inspired by day6s 'letting go' check it out (i wrote the whole last part with it on loop haha) but i wrote this out of pure excitement in less than 24 hours bc they just announced their comeback ??? HELLO ?!?
> 
> enough drabble, but huge shout outs to @kowoushi @luvkeis @NEITOMONOMA on twt for giving this the aokay and making me not look like a big dummy for not knowing how to spell (but seriously ty once again i appreciate it and you soso much <3)

_ I got something to say, Let’s meet up _

_ Now we sit silent, Facing each other _

_ I keep thinking in my head _

_ Should I say this or not _

Yamaguchi knew he needed to do it now, or it might quite literally be never. It had been a long time coming and he had been psyching himself up the preceding days, convincing himself that maybe this really could happen.  _ Could it? _

It was just him and Tsukki, sitting on top of the latter’s bed spread, papers thrashed around from studying for hours on end. The blonde was looking over what seemed to be a physics paper, until Yamaguchi pinched the top and pulled the paper down to reveal himself.

Tsukishima raised an eyebrow and lowered the sheet downward. In a familiar mellow tone he asked, “Can I help you, Yamaguchi?”

“Uh, y-yeah. I have a question.” The pinch server fiddled with the comforter’s loose thread, twirling it around and pulling it with the ends of his fingers. 

“Could you tell me the subject so I can help?”

“Chemistry and History,” Yamaguchi spat out before he could stop himself, immediately succumbing to first-hand embarrassment.  _ Tadashi, you idiot. Out of all the things to say, you pick  _ that?!?

Yamaguchi felt the bed springs move around as the blonde did, scooting closer. He still refused to look up for the time being.

“I’m not following, Yamaguchi.” Tsukishima was on the cusp of annoyance, which meant that he just needed to get it out into the open before digging himself into a deeper grave.

Fully gripping the bed and shutting his eyes a little too hard, he spoke out the three words that scared him the most. “ _ I like you.” _

“Oh.” Tadashi has no choice but to look up at the other now, fear and worries filling his intrigue. His best friend didn’t look upset, he didn’t look like  _ anything  _ happened. The same expression he could have if he had instead told him ‘hot drinks pair well with colder weather.’

“O-Oh?” was the only thing he could think of to reply with in return. 

“I thought it was pretty obvious we both liked each other.” This didn’t help Yamaguchi at all.

“I-But I like you in a,  _ not  _ friend way. N-not that I don’t like being your friend!” Yamaguchi fell backwards due to the final blow of embarrassment, lightly hitting the top of his head on the wall on the way down. Closing his eyes, he mumbled, “forget this please..”

Before he could realize what was happening, he felt the brush of fingers swish up and down the side of his cheek. Opening his eyes, he could see Tsukishima smirking and leaning closer, making Tadashi’s freckles pop more due to the pink undertone.

“The feeling is mutual, you know. Again, I thought that was quite clear.” Then Tsukki giggled.  _ Giggled.  _ Yamaguchi would die on this bed, he was sure of it.

“Tsukki... d-does that mean?” Yamaguchi got up on both his arms, looking deeply into the other’s gaze. 

“What do  _ you  _ want it to mean, Tadashi?” The unexpectedness of the first name made the freckled boy blush deeper and wider, reaching the tips of his ears.

“... that we can like, I don’t know, date maybe?” 

“I was hoping for more of the ‘boyfriends’ avenue, but I’ll take what I can get.” Now Yamaguchi was laughing, seeing that the other was being completely sincere and not joking an ounce.

“It can mean both, I suppose.” And before he could tell his mind to stop, he was scooching closer to the middle blocker, probably crumpling papers under him. Then rested his head on the other’s shoulder. “Hey, Tsukki?”

“Yes?”

“Could we, um” he started, swinging his feet lightly on the edge of the bed. “Could we keep this between us for the time being? Since…”  _ Since my anxiety from telling you this is making me rethink everything and I really don’t know if I can handle the world knowing right now. _

“Sure, Yama. Might be nice to have this to ourselves for right now. The dumbass duo would be ten times more annoying knowing anyways.” Yamaguchi knew he was trying to lighten the mood by saying that last part, but it did work at making his nerves deflate a little bit.

Wrapping his arms around the other’s like vines to a tree, he whispered barely loud enough that even his now boyfriend would hear it. “Thanks, Tsukki.”

###

_ Although I don’t want to  _

_ I’d been holding on to you for so long _

_ But now I must let go _

_ There’s nothing I can do for you _

_ It’s the only way to make you happy _

_ So I let go, let go, let go _

His initial plan was to surprise his middle blocker after dinner with the gift, since he didn’t want it to ruin his appetite. But he wasn’t expecting Tsukki to  _ willingly _ go to the gym with Fukurōdani’s captains and Nekoma’s captain.

He complained about it a lot to him during practice times, but then again his boyfriend could find a way to make a fuss out of anything. Doing it with things he liked wasn’t too far out of the realms of possibilities.

He looked from behind the metal bar, which with his dark attire made him look like a night’s living shadow. Tadashi couldn’t hear what they were saying from his distance, but his eyes could take in the conversation.

The embodiment of an owl came over and slung his arm around Tsukishima, the other quick to shove it off. The cat came crawling and must have said something comical since most of the gym’s occupants were bursting out laughing, Kuroo rolling on the floor.

The only one not laughing was the only crow on the court. His fists were gripped and his chest slightly becoming more compressed, clearly breathing faster and heavier. Then Yamaguchi heard it, and quite frankly?

It sucked.

With all the volume he could muster, the blonde turned around and shouted to the others, “He’s not my boyfriend! We’re just close!”

And with that, Yamaguchi made his leave. He didn’t need nor wanted to hear any more. They had both agreed to keep their relationship underwraps until both parties were ready, but it still stung regardless.

Looking back at the box, he thought about the homemade miniature dinosaur chocolates he had made for his boyfriend. He put so much time and effort into them the day before camp, since their two week anniversary was coming up soon and he loved to celebrate the smaller milestones just as much as the more memorable ones. 

“Well, we can still have fun tonight, right?” he said towards the cardboard container. Then Yamaguchi realized it couldn’t get much worse, since he was now talking to a goddamn chocolate box like it could talk back.

###

_ So you can smile someday _

_ So you can be happy _

Even after a whole month of dating Tsukki and countless dates, Yamaguchi still had trouble expecting what was going to happen each time. He definitely wasn’t expecting to enter his boyfriend’s house to see his little face pop out from beneath sheets and couch cushions.

“Tsukki, i-is this a fort?” Yamaguchi stood waiting for the other to respond and give him a rational explanation.

“No.”  _ Oh okay, so then what is it? _ “It’s  _ our  _ fort. Now you stay right there while I grab the popcorn okay.”  _ Oh. What?! _

“What?!” was all he said, since Tsukishima had been texting him saying that tonight they’d be ‘watching something special to you.’ What are they going to do in a fort??

“Yama, do you still want pepper on yours?” At the call of his name, he spun around and nodded his head. Tsukishima reached up to get another bowl, mumbling to himself how he still couldn’t understand why the other boy enjoyed the seasoning on his snack.

When he walked back with the two bowls, he still looked at Yamaguchi to tell him that he still wasn’t allowed in. He went into the makeshift tent and Tadashi could hear shuffling from inside.

He decided to sit down, not knowing how long it would take till he could be invited in. Not long apparently, since after what was probably a minute, he saw a tuft of golden hair and laser eyes in his direction. 

He crawled inside, trying diligently to not knock over the fort’s foundation. It was definitely more spacious inside that he had originally assumed. There was a green fuzzy blanket laid out underneath the brown pillows and one slot open, most likely for himself to take a rest.

He laid down and couldn’t contain himself from breathing out a laugh, which made Tsukki’s face turn bright. Turning over to his side and boyfriend, he asked “Are you finally gonna reveal your big secret?” 

“Well,” he started, clearing his throat. “You’ve been complaining for the last couple days how you couldn’t see the stars and that you missed them. A-and I…” Tsukishima had been staring up at the pseudo-ceiling, but then turned towards the other and Yamaguchi could now for sure see the other was blushing. “..I want to give them back to you, Tadashi.” 

Yamaguchi turned, hiding his face in the palms of his hands. He heard the other boy scoff and asked him if he was crying. “ _ No.” _ he muffled out, but he was a little. Whenever his boyfriend did something sentimental like this, it couldn’t help but make him a tad emotional.

After a moment to compose himself, he turned back over and asked in the most lighthearted way possible, “so where are the stars then?”

And Kei turned to the box in between them, which had given them a little bit of light in the darkened fort. He pressed a button and suddenly the white bed sheet was covered in stars and miniature moons, rotating around them. “Right here.” After a moment of silence, not awkward as much as admiring the work done, Yamaguchi reached around the machine and towards Tsukishima’s hand, who instantly closed the gaps. 

“Remember when we used to make forts when we were little?” Yamaguchi spoke up first, still looking up his night sky.

“Remember when my brother knocked it down with us inside one time?” was his response, which made both parties laugh with memories dancing in their heads.

Another pause, the only sound was the gears from the sky box being too tight, since each rotation left a slight squeaking sound. “We used to use this for our sleepovers, Tsukki. I remember it used to annoy you, but you didn’t say anything for my sake because of my fear of the dark, haha.”

“Still a dumb fear, Yamaguchi.”

Yamaguchi laughed and moved a little closer. “I still think it’s funny that you said, and I quote, ‘ _ you’ve got nothing to fear! because I’ll protect you from the night!’ _ ”

Tsukishima huffed out a breath and tried to push the memory out of his head. “I remember. And I said that every. Damn. Sleepover.” 

Yamaguchi was now completely over and snuggled into the side of the blonde boy, but not before giving the other a light but whole brush of his lips on his own. “It made it easier to sleep, I’ll admit.”

“Then my decades worth of embarrassment was well worth it.” And with that, they both looked up, content in their own little world and night sky. 

The best part was that there were no bugs in the fake outdoors, unless you counted a love bug. And in that case, both boys had been bitten quite a while ago, but neither minded. 

###

_ I remember our good times _

_ The days of laughter and fun _

_ Memories ever so precious _

_ Fill up inside me _

_ Although I don’t want to _

The original plan was to talk team dynamics, while also building up said dynamics more. The afternoon had been 99.6% the team goofing around, and .4% of their vice-captain trying to actually talk some strategies. 

They went to the beach downtown, where most other people were so spread out it felt like the Crows had the whole place to themselves. There was a volleyball net up, a picnic bench near them, and plenty of snacks to go around.

They used the bench as an actual bench you could use while you waited to be called in. Yamaguchi just so happened to be sitting out alone with Tsukishima, to his delight. 

The brunette was sitting on the end of the wooden plank, feet dangling off the side and grazing the warm sand below. Tsukki was next to him, sitting away from the table and towards the court. His arm was pressed against the pinch server’s back, but his pinkie finger found and locked with the others.

Yamaguchi started blushing at the hidden touch, since it was underneath the bench’s top, but he could blame the redness on the lack of sunscreen. He leaned more into the other, udderly euphoric.

They stayed like that for what seemed like too long but too little at the same time. Both were getting good at keeping their relationship and affectionate touches a secret from the team. Or so they thought, or hoped.

Tsukishima switched with their star libero, who also took his seat. They didn’t talk for a moment, both admiring the plays their team was making. 

Then Noya started talking. “Soooo,” he winded up, acting and sounding mischievous. “What’s going on with you and Tsukishima?” 

Yamaguchi didn’t turn to the other, eyes and body glued to the game. “I don’t know w-what you’re talking about.”

“I don’t know if anyone else notices it, but I’ve got the best pair of eyes around town. I wouldn’t pry but there’s something going on, I can feel it!” The way he ended it made a shiver go up Tadashi’s spine. He thought they were doing an excellent job being discrete, but maybe that was just wishful thinking. 

“Noya, I-I don’t know, what you getting at-“

“I just thought the guy was stone-cold, you know no heart, emotionless-“

Yamaguchi couldn’t take it anymore. He turned his head swiftly and yelled at this teammate, that by the looks of it didn’t know he was upsetting him. “Enough! Tsukki’s not like that! Y-you don't know him like I do…”

He didn’t turn towards the court immediately, because he knew his boyfriend would be staring at him. But when he did, the ball had fallen on the court, near Hinata’s feet. And as he predicted, Tsukki’s eyes had fallen onto him. 

“S-sorry, Yamaguchi. I-I didn’t mean-“

“Nono, I should be the one apologizing. I was out of line.”

After a moment of awkward silence and stares, Hinata chirped in with his own thoughts. “Oooo trouble in paradise! Honeymoon’s over!” Followed by Kageyama getting in an argument with him because he let the ball drop.

Everything eventually got settled, but the mood never went back to normal. All the Crows were on edge, Tsukishima darting glances back at his secret partner, and Yamaguchi wanting to go home as soon as possible.

###

  
  


_ I’d been holding on to you for so long _

_ But now I must let go _

_ There’s nothing I can do for you _

_ It’s the only way to make you happy _

_ So I let go, let go, let go _

Maybe it was that instance or maybe his anxiety just decided to reignite itself, but after the beach their relationship was… different. Nothing that an outsider would really notice, but the two of them certainly could.

There was always more physical space between them, pauses more drawn out, glaces a little too anxious and dim. Once, while over Yamaguchi’s house to do some homework together, he recoiled his hand in a mix of fear and panic from the other trying to take hold of it.

He apologized, saying he was more focused on his work and the sudden contact startled him. Tsukishima said he understood and neither made a move on the other for the rest of the evening. Neither believed the lie, but both were too scared to address it right then and there. 

Apparently, Tsukishima had the confidence that Yamaguchi lacked, as when he was getting ready for bed he saw a familiar name cross his notifications.

**_Tsukki ♡:_ ** _ Is everything alright. You’ve seemed kind of off and I want you to know I’m here for you, alright?  _

He didn’t know how to respond at first. Tadashi didn’t want to lie, but he didn’t know how to tell the other the truth of what was bothering him. After a minute or two, he finally found some middle ground.

**_Yama:_ ** _ Yep! Sorry to worry you at all, Tsukki. I’m just a little tired. :) GN see you tomorrow <3 _

He put the phone down and let the moonlight gently fill the room with a deep blue tint. Staring at the ceiling, he knew deep down what he was too cowardly to type or text out. 

_ Yes, I’m tired, Tsukki.  _ Yamaguchi thought, tears trying to break out the corners of his eyes.  _ Tired of lying.  _

_ Lying to the world about us... and lying to myself that it would work out.  _

_ ### _

  
  


_ Holding on to you _

_ Will do you no good _

_ I know, so I struggle to get you out _

_ The times we had together, our dear memories _

_ I let go, let go, let go _

_ So you can smile someday _

Two days had passed and for lack of better words, it was the best and worst Yamaguchi had ever felt about the confidential relationship. Best in the sense that he finally felt like he had Tsukki’s attention for a change, but worst in the sense that he felt like his boyfriend was constantly walking on eggshells around him. 

Yamaguchi knew something about the situation needed to change soon in order to get everyone’s mind and lives back on track. He just... wasn't expecting this on the road to that destination. 

Tsukki and him were about to start walking from their shoe lockers to volleyball practice together, when a girl from their class blocked the door to leave the building. She was in their class and neither of them had had a proper conversation, but Yamguchi had caught her staring at his best friend too many times to count. 

_ Oh. I get why she’s here now.  _ Looking at her closely, she was what all boys in their grade chased after. Long and fluid hair, curves in all the right places, an infectious smile, no freckles, smart and witty, not a lost puppy at their best friend’s side, bright and vibrant eyes, not Tadashi Yamaguchi. 

He let nature take its course, not moving a single muscle and keeping his eyes cast downward. The pinch server’s eyes didn’t have to see what was so obviously happening, his heart braced for impact. 

“T-Tsukishima, I-I know we’ve never talked that much before, but-”

Kei cut the girl off with an aggravated “Yes.” 

“..But, if you're available…”  _ Rip the band aid.  _

“.. and if you’re interested..”  _ Get it over with already.  _

_ I can’t take it.  _

“..maybe, uhm you and I could…”  _ My heart won’t steady anymore, just do it.  _

_ End it.  _

_ End. It. _

_ End. Me. _

_ End. _

_  
_ _ Us.  _

“She wants to go on a date with you, Tsukki.” Yamaguchi whispered out, the girl relieved someone would help her out. Tadashi was relieved that the nightmare was finally going to be over. 

For the first time in months he was going to get some sleep, stop having nightmares of the inevitable. All good things need a closing statement, he supposed. 

He just wasn’t expecting him to be the one pulling the trigger. 

Moving his eyes up just enough, he saw Tsukki’s mouth slightly ajar and eyes shot wider. He had no idea what to do and it was times like these he knew that he liked, no  _ loved,  _ his best friend. For that sake, he knew what he needed to do. 

Didn’t make it suck any less. 

Yamaguchi couldn’t say it while looking at him, so he took a step away and looked straight at the girl. Mustering up the greatest smile that he could, he tried to keep the heartbreak and pain dwelling inside him at bay, not cracking under all the build up pressure. “I think that’s an awesome idea! Tsukki would be proud to have someone like you being his girlfriend. He deserves the best!”

_ Not you.  _

He still couldn’t look back at his boy-, ex-boyfriend, but he told the two that he would tell their captains that Tsukki would be late to practice. It was only on the way out, where he saw in the door's glass reflection, Tsukki staring at him while the girl was embracing him in a hug. 

_ Chin up, Yamaguchi.  _

_ You knew this wouldn’t be more than a high school fling. You’ll get over it.  _

_ He’s still your best friend. You didn’t lose him.  _

But deep down, he knew he did lose him. Kei Tsukishima, Tsukki, whatever. He lost him in every sense of the way, but he’d thank Yamaguchi later. If they ever spoke again, that is. 

###

_ Ah let go, let go, _

_ The bright future we sought together _

_ I know I know we can no longer _

_ Wish for a happy ending _

Yamaguchi had to give credit where credit was due, in that Tsukishima tried his best to act like what happened didn’t bother him. He even believed him for a second, but only for a second. He hoped he was that skilled a pretender too. 

Now people around them, especially their teammates, knew something was wrong. It was suffocating. Yamaguchi just wanted his lungs to work and go back to when he never confessed, to go back to when things were normal and contained in their own little universe. 

He absolutely hated whatever,  _ this _ was, but he had to act like nothing had gone down. For the team’s, his ex’s, and his own sanity.

On the following weekend since this all transpired, he had randomly gotten a text from Tsukishima asking:

**_Tsukki:_** _Is this really what you want?_

He didn’t have to elaborate on what it was, since they both had a clear explanation. This time it didn’t take Yamaguchi an eon to respond. 

**_Yama:_** _I just want what’s best for you._

He didn’t include the next part, deleting it before sending the final message.  _ Not me.  _

###

  
  


_ Like the land hardens after the rain _

_ Pain is only temporary, someday you will meet _

_ someone who can make you happier _

_ That’s the kind of love you deserve _

_ I got to say good bye right now _

If Yamaguchi was a kettle pot, then what happened next would be akin to him telling everyone he was all boiled over, screaming and filling up with hot air ready to break free. 

Every single one of his teammates gave him stares of pity, and it didn’t help that he barely got half his serves over the net. Tsukishima was delayed with his blocking, clearly something on his mind. 

When they were all through for the day and cleaning up, Suga came over and told him cliche lines like ‘ _ here if you need anything’, ‘we should hang out more! One on one!’,  _ and ‘ _ feel free to text me anytime.’  _ Yamaguchi knew he was being buttered up, but it felt nice after the constant stream of insomnia and anxiousness the last few days. 

What didn’t feel great was the image of who was waiting outside, umbrella in tow. His friend…. Tsukishima’s new girlfriend. His stomach and lungs felt like they were on fire, needing to be given some air that they could use. 

He tried to get out before Tsukishima, rustling from Suga to go over and grab his bag on the side of the gym. However, he wasn’t as fast as the middle blocker, who had made it out just before he did. The steam in Yamaguchi was rising, and it didn’t feel good at all. 

She looked happy to see him, while he looked bored at the meeting. He could only see the back of his fellow teammate, but it was clear that her eyes were excited. She grabbed him for support and stood up on the ends of her feet, and..

They kissed. They kissed right in front of him. The timer was set and his kettle’s lid was getting hot and eager to pop open. 

Yamaguchi dropped his bag and forgot the umbrella inside, and just ran. 

He opened the kettle’s top after so long and let everything out, breaking out of his shell and screamed. 

###

_ I’d been holding on to you for so long _

_ But now I must let go _

He didn’t know exactly where he was heading, but anywhere where Tsukishima wasn’t was fine with him. Everything he owned was left behind and he could feel himself accidentally stepping into emerging puddles. 

Tadashi had the slight suspicion someone was chasing after him, since he could hear the echo of those same puddles splashing. It was also getting darker so that could have explained his fall, or maybe he just was a clutz, or maybe he just honestly didn’t care what happened to him next. 

The sudden impact with his exposed knees made for an ugly combination, since him tripping on the damp concrete made it easy for the knee to slightly bleed. 

And for his living shadow to catch up, out of breath and hands at the hips. “Y-Yamaguchi, this needs to stop.” The blonde said, drenched from head to toe, blonde hair sprouting wet tips as well as his glasses becoming somewhat less transparent. 

He kneeled right into a giant puddle, showing how unconcerned he was for the environment at the time. “Please, just…  _ talk  _ to me.” After a moment, he came closer and saw the tiny stripes of red that appeared due to the stumble. But he pressed on, thinking their conversation was more pressing. “Just let go.”

_ There’s nothing I can do for you _

_ It’s the only way to make you happy _

_ So I let go, let go, let go _

So Yamaguchi let go. 

He looked at the traveling steam that the road’s water had created. “You two would look cute together, you know.” 

A heavy sigh and Tadashi was sure the other had rolled his eyes. “God, enough with-”

“Let me finish.” He interrupted, emotion seeping out and down the flowing current, leaving him feeling hollow for a moment. “You two would look great together as a couple. I’m the one you need to take care for and constantly tiptoe around. She’d be your equal, and in comparison,I-I’m inferior. I’m not trying to be rude, just stating facts.” 

He took a breath, after realizing it was still hard to take in air. “I won’t lie to you anymore, but take this as you will, Tsukishima. I…..” He had thought about it so much, but he never spoke it aloud. “I love you. So that’s why I needed to end it. I-I still want to be friends, if that’s still on the table, but… there’s nothing I can do for you. It’s the only way to make you happy.” 

He had finished speaking everything he had thought about ever since their initial relationship, and it felt good to let it let it out. But he wasn’t expecting to hear a sniffle and see pink-tinted eyes once he finally looked at the other.

“Ts-Tsukishima?” 

_ Holding on to you _

_ Will do you no good _

_ I know, so I struggle to get you out _

“God, why do you keep  _ calling  _ me that?!” Another sniffle and he attempted to use the collar of his shirt to dry his tears, but the blocker’s fabric was already wet from the rain so it did no good. 

“Tsu-” 

“No!” He said, more attentive than mad. “Now, it’s my turn to talk, and yours to listen.” After a rushed breath, the blonde began to speak. 

“I-I have no clue what I did to mislead you, but I’m sorry.  _ I’m sorry, okay.”  _ Tears kept flowing down, but he didn’t mention them. “And that girl you’re so sure I should date?! I told her to come after practice to tell her I’m not interested.” He bowed his head, hands in balls on his lap. 

“I-I’ve only ever liked you, Tadashi. That hasn’t changed…. And I don’t think that could ever change.” After he said that, his shoulders and back began to rumble. 

Then Yamaguchi realized he was  _ shaking _ . He didn’t know if it was due to the rain or the overbearing of the feelings, but what he did know was that he had to comfort the other. Stepping into the same puddle, which made his scrapes sting just a little, he let that be on the back burner while he pulled Tsukki.

Pulled his head onto his shoulder, pulled him closer while wrapping both arms around, pulled his friend back into his life. 

_ The times we had together, our dear memories _

_ I let go, let go, let go _

_ So you can smile someday _

They both shed tears under the misty rain and although it was cold, both boys felt warmth for the first time in a while. After what seemed like an eternity of silence and the rain’s dancing, the blonde asked the million dollar question. 

“Hey, Yama, could we go back to before? I-I don’t care about the dating part, I just… I want you back in my life.”

“Well,” he started, trying to steady his breaths again. “I-I was hoping for more of the ‘boyfriends’ avenue, but I’ll take what I can get.” Both giggled and pulled apart for a moment, admiring and taking in the other, acknowledging how  _ dumb  _ this whole situation was.

Then they both turned their heads towards one another and came in closer, finally closing the distance between themselves and their lips. It was a passionate and a desperate one on top of that. Yamaguchi felt the boiling feeling from inside rise again, but instead he welcomed it. 

After what seemed like too long but not long enough, they met each other's foreheads, reeling from the afternoon and trying to make sense of it all. Yamaguchi spoke out the three words that excited him the most. “I love you.”

  
And Tsukki echoed him right back. “I love you, too. But could we get out of this rain? I don’t want either of us to get sick, if possible.” He lifted Tadashi up and started the hike back to get their things that they had left behind at the gym.

The pinch server was excited to give this another shot, and even tell the important people in their life about it. To keep no more secrets from the others and themselves. 

Yamaguchi was ecstatic that someday soon, they could both smile again like this. Together and by each other’s side yet again, forever just Yamaguchi and Tsukki. 

**Author's Note:**

> ahhhh its over :(((
> 
> i hope the ending justified all the pain oof but i love tsukiyama sm so BET it wont be too long before i post them again
> 
> if you wanna see what im up to, go follow me on twt @akutagi and til next time ty and stream day6 <333


End file.
